Friday, January 12, 2007

Your Premier FAQ Source!

Animal Crossing FAQ
By SephirothCloud9877

~~Other Faqs by this Author~~
Mario Kart: Devil Summoner
Castlevania: Requiem of the Sorrowful Bat Devil Summoner
Castelvania: Rondo of the Bat Summoner Devil
Shin Megami Tensei: Bat Summoner Tuner Overdrive
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Rape Sidestory
Kingdom Hearts II

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I – Upgraded House Quests
After making the first payment to Tom Nook a series of upgraded house quests open up – this is a great time to make a lot of bells and upgrade to some better equipment by building your orchard and killing Dracoliches and Disciples of Woe. Also note that the you can now catch rare fish and butterflies when it’s raining. The most important thing is to make sure to kill the Spinestealer before you open the Seal of the Undying, otherwise you can never get the Morbid Accouterments (Spine of Woe, Heart of Darkness, and Lungs of Decay). The Morbid Accouterments make the battle against the fleshcrafted Vozhd in the sewer much easier, and also make it easier to bestow the Dark Gift on your thralls (+12 to your Bloodpool). This is assuming that you decide to take the quest that the Baron gives you where you have to figure out who's been making the snuff films that Pelly the Duck sells under the table at the city hall (hint: it may be the mysterious stranger Wladislaw Tzimisces who moves in on the sixth day driving a chariot of skulls). Also note that you can access the Pyramid of Zul-Che-Quon very early on but it's guarded by Byakhee, Zy'Tl Qu'ae, Ythogtha, Tawil At'Umr, Quaachil Uttaus, and Xada-Hgla, the hideous bivalve avatar of Azathoth, the Nuclear Chaos. You need to have AT LEAST ten peaches and the bug net before facing them.
If you have completed the quest where Tom Nook tells you to get the Blood Raiment (Blood Axe, Blood Cuirass, Blood Greaves and Talisman of Suffering) then you can enter the Demesne of Disfigurement. Your quest here is to steal the childrens’ skulls which power Mephisto's Engine of Torment. If you don't open the bone chest in the room with the altar made out of eyeballs and hands, you can get the golden watering can much sooner!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

To tide you over until A I e x finishes the game...

From the Final Amanuensis: Requiem of the Nightmare Shillelagh FAQ

Chapter 10 – 2

After finally defeating the Rump Parliament the party gains access to London – you can do some shopping here.  Check out the back room of the Virgin Wyvern Tamer Paraphernalia Megastore for some illegal Prescription Wyvern Ointment.  It’s expensive, but it will be worth it when you get to Tlön.  Also, time to upgrade Mary Sue’s vodka to some Bombay Sapphire, or if you have the money, Old Colonial Raj Extra-Dry Gin or Dry Sack Sherry (for Melancholy).  A number of M-S drinking games open up here too, as well as a rumble for Aristotele and the Emetic Knights in Fukk, a London gay nightclub.  If you bought the Samsung ML-100 in Lisbon, Aristotele may have trouble getting out of his service contract so the Verizon store here may not be useful; if you’re OK on that front, feel free to buy one of the phones that come with a Bluetooth headset (freeing up Aristotele’s hands in combat).
There’s an Electrum Shillelagh in the umbrella holder in the Vile Old Hag inn, free for the taking, and the bartender there will give Molly Flanders-Bloom the Disease-Ridden Mop if she gets above a B on the mopping mini-game (you can try as many times as you want).  He also sells kegs of Theakston’s Old Peculiar and Boddington’s Pub Ale for the Oaf.  The hero can shoplift a Silver Cow-Topped Sword Cane from the antique store on Wetnurse Street (someone has already reserved it – stealing it opens up the Heil Spode/Totleigh Towers subquest), although if you get caught by the police you’ll have to complete a clever retort mini-game or get a big fine.
As you go about your shopping, the party keeps hearing rumors about people being strangled and running into police officers investigating the scenes of various stranglings.  Every time you arrive at one of the scenes, you run into Strangling Phillip Lord Walmsey, a tall and sepulchral man, wearing leather gloves and flexing his long, saturnine fingers.  He makes some rather uncryptic comments about having just strangled various people because he really enjoys strangling.  Eventually the chief of police asks for help with the case. He tells you that he has narrowed down the suspects to a list of three: Weak-Wristed Violet, her lover Poor Edward the Debtor, or Lord Walmsey.  All the evidence of course points quite unequivocally to Lord Walmsey, but you are free to choose whomever you wish.  If you pick Weak-Wristed Violet or Poor Edward the Debtor, Lord Walmsey out of gratitude teaches the party some strangling-related skills and allows them to stay at his country home.  If you implicate Poor Edward, you also have first chance to bid on his goods when the state sells them at auction.  If you choose Lord Walmsey the case is thrown out because there is actually no law on the British books that forbids strangling of the idle poor. In any case Lord Walmsey becomes recruitable, but it will be much harder to win his favor if you implicated him.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

From the Final Amanuensis FAQ by Efreet27

Chapter 15: TLÖN
RECOMMENDED: lv. 82-87

ITEMS: Pay-Phone Headset, Nikoff Vodka, Flavorful Mushrooms, Fewmets, Whyte Whyvern Harness, Gum Arabic, Cork

ENEMIES: Hrön Gang 1-12, Hrön Wyvern

After the submarine scene, you’ll find yourself marooned on a mountaintop. You can’t come back to this area, so make sure to look under all the rocks. There are some one-of-a-kind items here: the Pay-Phone Headset for Aristotele which raises his irony stats and can also be used to directly attack the enemy. This is the only weapon that does this so make sure to hang onto it because some of the upcoming enemies cast deafness on your party. Also you can get the Nikoff Vodka bottle for Mary Sue. This is pretty much the best weapon you can get at this point in the game. Make sure to hold onto it cause you’ll need it later to make Mary Sue’s ultimate weapon. Also you’ll come across some Flavorful Mushrooms which if you use them in the Sour Cream Chicken recipe will raise your hero’s Contentment stats. Finally you get some Fewmets that will you will need later on to recruit the Questing Beast. You then have to show them to Vernon who will confirm that they’re not wyvern fewmets. Talk to all your party members. After the Professor says “….” go back and talk to Vernon, who will start going on about how he could really use a wyvern right now. After a short scene, you’ll have an opportunity to finally use some of Vernon’s hard-earned wyvern taming abilities.
You’ll encounter the Wyvern in battle. Use Vernon’s “Wyvern Whisperer” ability. Depending on his stats (if you’ve been following this FAQ he should be a wyvern taming expert) it might take more than one turn to tame the wyvern. Don’t worry if you end up accidentally killing it because they’ll keep coming, although they don’t give that many EXP. Once you get the wyvern you can fly it down the mountain. When you get to the bottom of the mountain you can keep the wyvern if you have the Virgin Wyvern Megastore Special Wyvern Ointment that you picked up in London, but whether or not you want to do this is up to you because you’ll randomly encounter several wyverns to tame. If you do decide to keep it you’ll get a pretty nice harness and Vernon’s attack will go up slightly. You’ll also get Vernon’s special battle command “Call Wyvern” which lets you do some pretty sweet aerial attacks. You can keep up to three wyverns at a time and if you already built the Wyvern Ranch on the Island you can send as many as you want back there. This also opens up a wyvern breeding mini-game but you can’t play it until you get back to Earth.
At the bottom of the mountain there’s a pretty clear path. Before heading down it talk to Aristotele. He’ll mention how “fucking thirsty” he is and a healing spring will appear. Then make sure to put the Professor in your party. The enemies in this area are called “Hrön Gangs” and will have numbers after them. If you have the Professor he’ll mutter something incomprehensible to them and they’ll walk away. Still if you encounter a “Hrön gang 11” and you’re above level 85 I would recommend fighting it because you get loads of EXP and Ability Points. This is a good opportunity to get your hero to learn Tantivy! which is basically the best skill in the game at this point. If you combine it with Aggromax’s Odin’s Raven attack you get Wild Hunt, which will decimate just about any group of enemies you encounter for the next few areas. Remember you can heal at any time by talking to Aristotele. After you’ve leveled up enough go to the signpost, there’s a short scene with the Professor and then you get the Create Hrön submenu under Item Creation. This ability can only be used on Tlön and there are some items that you can only get through Create Hrön. See Appendix C for a complete list of hrön. At this point I recommend getting the Professor’s Loaded Shillelagh by creating a hrön of his shillelagh. Also in the wooded area near the signpost you’ll find some Gum Arabic and Cork. If you keep these in Vernon’s possession you’ll get the Sect of the Phoenix scene with him and the Oaf the next time you stay at an inn. This allows you to use the Sect of the Phoenix battle skill and also permanently raises the Shame stats of Vernon and the Oaf. Now continue on the path for a ways until you reach the city of Uqbar.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A Provisional Posting

From the Final Amanuensis: Requiem of the Nightmare Shillelagh FAQ

Chapter Six

After the scene make sure to search the room – you can find a Motorola Razr weapon for Aristotele, as well as a refill for Mary Sue’s Ketel One.  If you completed the Luce Irigaray subquest in chapter 3, Luce will show up now and dispense some neo-feminist wisdom and give all your female party members the special ability: Phallus Shield (can be comboed with Jacques Lacan’s specials for various “Return to Freud” moves).  Don’t miss out on the optional fight as you leave the room – answer “no” to the Cy-Boar’s questions to trigger an easy fight which gives you another piece of the Ultimate Wyvern Harness (if you avoid the fight you can buy it later, but it’s worth getting it now).

Get ready for the snowboarding mini-game – note that your character’s agility affects their performance.  It’s pathetically easy with a seriously coked-up Aristotele.  Alternately, you can use the Wyvern Tamer’s ability to enrage the Snow Drake (not technically a wyvern), sending the entire party tumbling to the bottom without bothering with the mini-game.  Time for some power leveling!  This area has a bunch of relatively easy monsters (Environmental Rights Lawyers, Bronze Soldiers, SuperYeti and sometimes The Boner Patrol special encounter), so keep fighting till you’re at least level 60, because a big boss fight is coming up.  Now would be a good time to use the teleporter to return to The Hague to finish the lithography subquest, and if you haven’t done Mary Sue’s drink-off at the inn in Hawaii II, now’s your last chance.  Go past the giant emerald gates to end the chapter.

Monday, February 20, 2006

This blog is now the official Final Amanuensis Development Blog

Final Amanuensis is a multi-part RPG series that Ari and I are currently developing. It's hilarious, but I think Ari still has all the notes (plz tell me you didn't throw them out) so I'll let him do the first honors. Take it away, Scamsky.

Monday, November 14, 2005

The Costington Clan: To Smack the Face of God


Most histories of the Costington clan begin with the marriage of Increase Costington to Hepzibah Fortitude Costington, a cross-cousin from an armigerous but especially decayed Vermont branch of the family. The reason for this, which most accounts omit, is that Increase, in a paroxysm of hubris following a vision of an enormous metallic angel bedecked with eyes and noses, caused all previous records of his branch of the family to be destroyed in an enormous bonfire, kindled with dried and papery bones exhumed from the traditional sepulcher of Costington body-slaves.
Increase himself had two brothers, Elutherius Abednego Costington and Chesty Millefleurs Costington. Of the two Chesty rose to greater fame, while Elutherius merely married an unnamed slattern and went mad from repeated electrical shocks suffered for reasons which are ill-understood. The union did produce Patience Costington, who will return later in this account. Chesty married a plain but wealthy girl named Toil Panoptica Winterthur; from this marriage issued Mnemosyne, Calliope (who was murdered), and two girls who were drowned. Chesty and Toil lived in a wing of the Constington family mansion which had been fitted relatively recently with plumbing, and it is likely that the lead in the water caused the birth of their fifth child, an unnamed, putrescent, finned monstrosity that proved resilient to clubs and fire and was thus, in accordance with Costington family tradition, allowed to live. The monstrosity coupled with a certain number of fish and produced Vardaman Costington, a man distinguished from the common run of humanity only by certain batrachian characteristics. The fish and the putrescent monstrosity also produced an uncertain number of ichthyoid horrors who were burned by the Costington house guards.
Increase and Fortitude, meanwhile, produced a large family: Stiff Upper Lip, Virginity, Frigidity, Reticence, Rectitude, Strephoon, Harvest, Hestia, Tory, Tori, and an unnamed boy who was drowned. Stiff Upper Lip, upon wresting control of a portion of the family business from Increase (who was increasingly distressed by ataxia), changed his named to Costleigh and married his cousin Patience, the daughter of Elutherius and the unnamed slattern.
Patience and Costleigh produced the generation of Costington that will be most immediately familiar to the reader, as their prominence in matters of industry ensures their constant presence in the headlines. Their children are: Wrath, Rudiger, Enoch, Costleigh Jr., Moab, Unnamed Boy, Isaachar (drowned), Zebulon, and Thrift (who married Vardeman and produced two children, Voldemort and Happy).
Costleigh Gethsemane Costington, Jr. was frequently ill as a child and it surprised no one when he developed into a melancholic and frequently debauched youth; Costleigh Sr. sought to eradicate this current of sloth by pulling strings and having Costleigh Jr. inducted into the zouaves. Sadly, Costleigh lasted only a few months before being discharged for acts which his captain characterized as “barbarous and unhealthy beyond even the extraordinary standards of the regiment.” He returned from France addicted to mercury.
I shall leave the next chapter to E. Hastings.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

We Love Katamari

Sometimes, when the wind calms
It blows less strongly
A falcon descends: and it says:
Call Donald Rumsfeld,
He wants you to pay your
Electric bill.

Also, I realized that I used the word "errant" twice in the latest weekend page. I am sooo ashamed!